Pirates, and Diapers, and Babies, oh my!
by DeereReaderGirl
Summary: When Killian and Emma are left to babysit Neal will everything go awry?


Hook was terrified. He'd battled many an enemy in his time as a pirate, tangled with many fearsome foes, but nothing had prepared him for this: he was going to be babysitting. Of course, Emma would be with him, but he was going to be babysitting. He had never really dealt with babies before, and all he knew about them was that they screamed, slept, ate, and pooped. When Emma told him she had a surprise for him he never expected this. Where was Emma anyway? She had left Neal with him and then said something about having to run back to Charming and Snow's to get something she forgot.

Hook's train of thought was derailed by the sound of Neal crying. Well, not so much crying as screaming.

"Mate, just calm down. I'm sure Swan will be back soon and then we'll figure out what's the matter with you."

Instead of calming down, Neal cried all the louder. Hook groaned and raked his hand up over his face and through his hair. He knelt over Neal to pick him up, but was met with the problem of how he was going to manage the task with one hand. Images of him accidentally stabbing the little man with his hook raced through his mind. If he injured this baby in any way, Charming would kill him. It wouldn't matter that he and Emma were finally together, he'd be dead. He pondered how he could safely get Neal out of the bassinet. The idea suddenly struck him; he could put his false hand on over his hook, and then perhaps he could get the little man out.

As he rifled through his satchel looking for his hand, he couldn't help but wonder what was taking Emma so long. When he finally found the hand, he put in on over his hook and turned to the wailing baby. He bent over, and lifted Neal out of the bassinet, situating him so his head was over his shoulder and he was supporting his back and head. Hook began to take bouncing steps around the room, hoping that Neal would finally be quiet, but his screams only got louder. Hook made an aggravated, growling noise in the back of his throat. He knew that Snow had fed Neal before bringing him over, so surely he couldn't be hungry, and he was obviously not tired. His worst nightmare was realized when he thought of the only other thing that it could possibly be; Neal needed his diaper changed. He tentatively lifted the little man and sniffed near his bottom. Hook whipped his head away as quickly as he could. _Of course he would need his diaper changed while Swan was gone_.

"S'okay, mate. We're gonna get you changed soon." Hook murmured, looking around desperately for someplace to change Neal. He suddenly remembered that there should be a changing mat somewhere in the diaper bag. He rushed over to the bassinet and laid Neal back down. He turned in harried circles trying to remember where Emma had set the diaper bag down at. His eyes finally locked on it, sitting across the room on the couch, and he sprinted towards it. After picking up the blue monstrosity of a bag, he raced back over to the bassinet and began to dig through the bag. After finding the changing mat, a rolled up pad with ducks all over it, he spread it out on the floor and searched for a diaper and baby wipes. Finding everything he would need, he gently picked up Neal and laid the squirming infant on the mat. He tried to unsnap the snaps on Neal's onesie, but with his false hand, it became harder than it should have been. He ripped off the false hand and attempted to get the blue onesie off while distracting the flailing, squalling infant with his hook. Once Neal was free from the onesie, he stared down at the diaper and scratched his head absently with his hook. How he was ever going to manage this he didn't know. His false hand would be no help, and he was more comfortable with his hook, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to use it for everything either.

He went after the right tab of the diaper with his hand, and attacked the left tab with his hook. Things were going well until he had to pull the diaper out from underneath Neal. He had grabbed Neal's wiggling legs and lifted them up and put the tip of his hook on the edge of the diaper to pull it out, but when the diaper had been removed from under Neal, Killian realized his hook had speared the used diaper. Had the diaper just been wet, he would have shook it off his hook and dealt with it once the lad was cleaned up and in a fresh diaper, but since Neal and filled his diaper, Killian didn't really think it wise to shake the diaper off and risk sending other things flying as well. He gingerly slid the diaper off his hook, and wrapped the diaper back up. Looking around, he noticed Emma's trashcan and threw the offending diaper at it. Of course, the diaper couldn't just go in the can, it had to hit the rim and fall onto the floor. Grunting irritably, he turned back to Neal just in time for Neal to pee all over his leather pants. Killian grabbed for anything within reach to cover the little man up and stop the flow. He tore open the baby wipes with his hook and wrenched two from the package, throwing them over Neal and efficiently stopping the urine from reaching his pants anymore. At that moment, he heard the key turning in the lock and Emma walked in.

"Sorry it took me so long! They hadn't left for their date yet and were reminding me. . ." Emma trailed off when she saw the look on Killian's face when he turned his head to look at her.

"Uh, is everything okay?" She asked him hesitantly.

He sighed and shook his head, turning back around. Gesturing to the squirming baby in front of him, he told her how first Neal wouldn't stop crying, and then how he figured out what his problem was, and the hook conundrum all the way up to throwing the baby wipes over Neal to protect his pants. During his story, Emma had made her way over to where he was kneeling by the bassinet. When she got in front of him and knelt down, she tried to stifle the laughter that was making its way up her throat. She hadn't been able to tell from behind, but looking at him from the front, she saw that when he had torn open the baby wipes, he had ended up spearing at least ten of them, and they were now hanging off his hook. He quirked his eyebrow at her and looked down at his hook. When he saw all the wipes hanging there, he tipped back his head and sighed. She couldn't hold in her laughter anymore, and clutched at her sides as she laughed at him.

"Yes, yes! My misfortune is hysterical, but need I remind you that there is a prince in need of a new diaper?" He said, poking her in the side with the curve of his hook. Though she was still chuckling, she turned her baby brother to face her, and proceeded to clean him up and change his diaper with ease. While she finished with the little man, Killian grabbed a wipe off his hook and attempted to deal with the mess Neal had made of his pants. When he felt like he'd gotten them as clean as he was going to be able to get them, he stood up and made his way to the trashcan to throw away with wipes and the dirty diaper that had fallen on the floor. He turned around to talk to Swan, but what he saw took his breath away. Emma had moved to sit in front of the couch, and was sitting cross-legged on the floor, holding her baby brother and rocking him gently, her face tilted down towards his. He'd had strong feelings for Emma for a while now, but he wasn't sure when they had suddenly turned into love. He wanted to tell her. He was dying to tell her, but they'd only just kissed, really kissed, a month or so ago, and he didn't want to scare her off. He'd never admit it to her, but he sometimes dreamed of them being together like Charming and Snow someday, of being married and having little Killians or Emmas running around. Emma looked up at him and smiled.

"When I was growing up, going through foster care, I always wished that I would have a real family. I wished for parents and siblings. I never thought that I'd find that in a town full of fairytale characters." She whispered, tears welling in her eyes. Killian moved back over to her, and sank down beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She leaned into him and looked back down at the baby in her arms.

"Who would have ever thought that when I found my parents we'd be the same age, and my sibling would end up being a baby," she said, contentedness coloring her voice. Killian kissed the top of her head, and they spent the rest of the evening in front of the couch, talking about anything and everything, feeding Neal, and watching him sleep. Killian had never felt happier than he had that evening, and couldn't wait until they had to babysit again.


End file.
